"Who Helped You Become?" The Power of Relational Communities
“With greater connection, we become less apprehensive about engaging across lines of difference, and we develop greater capacity to relate and to empathize with those different from us.” - Tropp & Dehrone
Community building is not happenstance; it is intentional, and it is inclusive. It can cross sectors, generations, borders, and lived experiences.
I studied these theories with one of my favorite professors, Dr. Kim Bridges. I understood these concepts on paper, but on Saturday, I saw them in practice.
In January, Women in Change USA launched with a shared mission of bringing together women in leadership across sectors. This type of relational community building takes time, and it happens when the mission and vision are rooted in shared values. These roots allowed for a beautiful Mentor Mixer where nearly forty women gathered at a women-owned and operated coffee shop, Vine and Bean in Ashland, Virginia.
With guests joining Virginians from the UK, Canada, Ohio, Maryland, and Michigan, we welcomed the notion that women learn from one another, at every stage. After all, change is not unilateral—it is relational. Founding Member, Dr. Summer Watson, reminded us at a dinner on Friday evening that emerging leaders cannot only learn, they can teach; the relationship between mentor and mentee is reciprocal.
Our keynote, Dr. Tomika Ferguson, asked us, “Who Helped You Become?” She reminded attendees that we did not get here by accident; there were those who shared a vision, pushed a boundary, or offered a seat when we didn't know we needed one.
Dr. Ferguson also explained that sometimes mentoring relationships are informal presenting in the following ways:
Mirrors: They reflect your gifts back to you when self-doubt clouds your vision.
Stretchers: They see a version of you that you have not realized yet, and they refuse to let you stay comfortable.
Doors: They advocate for you in rooms you have not yet entered.
Throughout the afternoon, I saw examples of mirrors, stretchers, and doors, as emerging leaders talked with women across sectors. Over lunch and flower arranging, there was an opportunity to chat, share, reflect, and maybe even dream a bit.
I heard a table of retired school administrators, higher ed professionals, and small business owners chat with aspiring teachers and entrepreneurs. These women reflected on choices made that they would change and things they valued and would keep the same. Emerging leaders made inquiries and shared their own non-negotiables. The leaders nodded in solidarity. Mirrors.
A business professional sat with a broker who just opened her own firm. A discussion about future opportunities emerged. Stretchers.
Through these types of conversations, women are able to bridge social capital, and share access for those who are just getting started like Aditi and Saanvi. At age sixteen, these leaders, with a team of peers, have worked with over 600 youth through the James River Academy of Diplomacy, a 501(c)(3) in Richmond, VA. With a shared vision of helping young adults find their voice through Model United Nations training and competitions, this group aspires to bring their travel team to Harvard this school year. Small businesses have already stepped up to sponsor their vision. Doors.
These are just some examples of roots that dug a little deeper into the soil on Saturday, and I am confident there are countless others.
Speaker Jenny Garrett, OBE (author of AI For Equity) reminded us that women have been key mentors since the time of Homer (even though they had to do so in disguise). Saanvi also reminded us that “being too much” is sometimes a good thing, and Dr. Ferguson encouraged us to continuously ask,“Who is becoming because of me?”
As we wrapped up an incredibly inspiring weekend, I had the opportunity to share a meal with Operations Manager Jen Lacey, Founder of Women in Change (UK) Sarah Bar-Lev, and Change Manager and Entrepreneur, Melissa Opasic. We discussed our own losses, wins, and visions for what’s next.
“I’m leaving inspired,” Bar-Lev shared. I think we can all agree.
The Women in Change USA community is not a networking group. It is a growing community dedicated to amplifying the voices of women across sectors through inclusive opportunities to learn, grow, connect, and most of all…. transform.
Join the movement: www.womeninchangeusa.com
(Warren & Mapp, 2011, p.22)
Very cool!
What an amazing experience you crafted, Dr. Waldron! Congratulations on the first many such experiences!